The Choppy Waters of Life & Marriage

“If we go with Jesus we must be content to face what He faces; and when the waves are rough for Him, they will be rough for us.” – C.H. Spurgeon

Deanna and I have been watching The Unit, a TV series that aired from 2006 to 2009. We are currently in Season 2 and enjoying the exploits of the secret U.S. military team known as “the Unit.”

One of the subplots in the second season involves a young man named Jeremy, who has left the Army to join a private security firm. During a raid, Jeremy gets badly burned and as a result, his fiancée leaves him because she can’t deal with his long rehab, let alone his possible disfigurement.

Even though those episodes were filmed 16 years ago, they apply equally well to today’s headlines. For instance, I recently read where actor Hugh Jackman and his wife are calling it quits after 27 years of marriage. How incredibly sad… and the reason for their breakup is even more tragic.

In a press release, the couple acknowledged having had “a wonderful, loving marriage” for almost three decades, but added that “Our journey now is shifting, and we have decided to separate to pursue our individual growth.”

Excuse me? You entered into a marriage covenant before God and exchanged vows “unto death do us part,” but you are separating now because your “journey has shifted” and you want to “pursue individual growth?” What kind of mindless and selfish rationale is that?

In Matthew 19, Jesus forbids divorce except for when adultery is involved and even then, He allows it but doesn’t desire it. The Apostle Paul also references spousal abandonment in I Corinthians 7 as a legitimate reason for getting divorced. And yes, there are also instances where a couple has to live apart because of spousal abuse. However, no where in Scripture is a shifting journey or individual growth mentioned as valid reasons for dissolving a marriage.

As Charles Spurgeon points out in today’s quote, life is full of highs and lows, ups and downs... and so is marriage. When those “choppy waters” come and crashing waves are threatening to overwhelm us, we should draw even closer to our Savior and yes, to our spouse.

Remember those words – “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health” – and try your best with God’s help to live by them. But if you fail, please remember that He offers unconditional love, forgiveness, and healing. Divorce is not the unpardonable sin and God will repair and restore your broken heart if you let Him.

“So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:6 (NKJV)