Puking in the Pulpit

“When the fish swallowed Jonah, he found him a morsel that he could not digest; and when the world devours the church, it is glad to be rid of it again.” – C.H. Spurgeon

On Sunday, I did something I have never done before… I puked in the pulpit!

Well, not actually in the pulpit, but while sitting in a nearby chair where I was trying to fight off a severe vertigo attack. It hit me without any warning as I was finishing up our Prayer and Praise time and so, once we had sung our Hymn of Preparation, I told our congregation that I would be preaching from a sitting position. That lasted for about 10 minutes until I told my wife that I couldn’t go on any longer.

Deanna quickly handed me an empty box to throw up in, but when that started to leak, a man in our church leapt to his feet and brought me a full-size trash can, standing with his back to the crowd to offer me a modicum of privacy. Our deacon then took my sermon notes and finished preaching my message after which he conducted the two baptisms that we had scheduled. All the while this was happening, I had my head buried in the aforementioned trash can… yuck!

Once the service was over, those same two men assisted me to our golf cart for the short drive to our camper, after which they helped me up the stairs. For the next three hours, I dry heaved until it felt like my stomach – not just its contents – was coming up. I wouldn’t wish that all-too-familiar experience on anyone.

Today, I feel much better, although I am still a bit “weak and wobbly” from the ordeal. But two things come to mind when I reflect on Sunday’s service. First, God truly knows the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10). I had gone over some of my sermon notes with our deacon the day before, which is something I’ve never done before, so he wasn’t looking at them for the first time. I had also previewed his responsibilities for the baptism service, so he wasn’t performing that ordinance “cold turkey” either.

Second – and I trust this doesn’t gross you out too much – my Bible was ruined when I started vomiting because it was sitting on my lap. However, as God would have it, I had just ordered a new one a few days before because the cover was badly peeling. It should arrive in time for me to prepare for next Sunday’s message on Exodus 17… PTL!!!

My friend, whether you suffer from vertigo or not, there is a valuable lesson to be learned from my experience last Sunday. As Christians, we should live our lives in such a way that we are not digestible to the unsaved world around us. Instead of unbelievers devouring us, we should be impacting and influencing them for the glory of God.

“And the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.” – Jonah 2:10 (BSB)

“If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me first. If you were of the world, it would love you as its own. Instead, the world hates you, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.” John 15:18-19 (BSB)

- Rev. Dale M. Glading, President

P.S. To further prove God's complete sovereignty, I had chosen today's opening quote about Jonah a week before my vertigo attack!